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Ольга Новик размышления саморазвитие советы родителям сценарий ТА транзактный анализ Эрик Берн, Пьеса жизни, Детская психология,

The play of life

Every man has a dream to become an astronaut, a teacher, a performer when he/she has happy and careless time of the life. Unfortunately, only few of them can achieve their childhood dreams.

Parents’ prohibitions or phrases that reduce self-esteem can become crucial for a child’s life.

Let’s view two situations: A eight year son in Malikov’s family come from school with bad marks. His parents without consideration tell him how hard they try for his own good, and what it cost them. The parents make their child feel a sense of guilt. In the end they tell him: «It’s no way you will become successful, with marks like that you can only work as a street cleaner».

In Davidov’s family the daughter had stained her cloths with paint. Despite that, her parents sign her to an artist school and support their daughter in hard moments of her life. They tell her: «You are doing great!», «We believe in you!», «Well done!»

We can clearly see the strategy of parental upbringing in these situations. The famous psychologist Eric Bern once introduced a term «a scenario of life» which parents write for their children.

Despite of a kid’s diligence, his/her wins or misfortunes, parents program the future of their offspring.

It’s common situation for our society when a parent realize his or her unfulfilled dreams through his or her child, by forcing the kid to choose one or another profession or to create the ideal image of the husband.

After such «infusions» parents ask themselves a question why their children are offended by adults and blame them. The answer is simple. Unrealized plans of parents fell on their children’s shoulders.

If you want your child to have a happy and bright future, want him/her to be a winner just accept the needs of your kid and create the scenario of life together. Yet the kid should be the author of his/her life

By Olga Novik
Translator Ksenia Andriushchenko
Original Text Пьеса жизни


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Ольга Новик
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